Fear
by SnowedUnderNJ
Summary: This is how I would like the season finale to go! Does contain some spoilers.


A/N After hearing about certain spoilers that may or may not be true I decided to write the finale the way I hope it will go. This story does contain spoilers of things we know from the previews etc. so if you want to go into the finale spoiler free you may not want to read this. I of course do not own "Gossip Girl" or Chuck and Blair would be together and Louis would be in France. Btw I am not particularly fussy about grammar etc. so I ask your forgiveness in advance for any errors!

_Fear_

There are two kinds of fear. The first one is the good kind. The one we might feel before a job interview or a big move. The one that makes us realize that we are about to embark onto something new and different and even though we feel afraid we know it's for the best. The second kind is the one that frightens us to our very core. The kind that causes our blood pressure to spike and our heart to pound as the blood rushes from our limbs. This was the kind of fear she had experienced as she faced Russell Thorpe on the roof of Chuck's new building.

She was consumed with it as he paced back and forth and ranted about how the Bass family had destroyed his world. How Chuck had taken away the only thing that had every really mattered to him, his daughter. The fear escalated when he told her that he would be returning the favor, an eye for an eye so to speak. She was afraid for herself of course but more importantly she was scared for Chuck. If, God forbid, things went the way Russell was planning how would Chuck cope? She knew that he would descend back into the darkness, a place of alcohol, drugs and women. He would blame himself until the day he died and that frightened her more than anything else at the moment.

She was mentally planning an escape route when the door burst open and in rushed Chuck followed very closely by Raina and Nate. The look of relief in Chuck's eyes the minute he saw her basically unharmed broke her heart. The next ten minutes were a blur. Russell screaming for them to stay back and Chuck bargaining with the crazed man offering his life in exchange for Blair's. Ultimately it was Raina who talked her father down.

The next thing she knew she was wrapped safely in Chuck's arms and the police were arresting Thorpe. The nightmare was over and she could breathe again. As she clutched onto his jacket tightly she inhaled his familiar scent. It was one of scotch, soap and just a hint of his cologne. She felt his arms tighten around her and her name being whispered over and over against the top of her head. He pulled back to look her over and make sure she was really okay. When he was reassured that she was, he kissed her forehead gently and pulled her to himself again.

She remembers asking him to take her for a drink to calm her nerves before they returned to everyone and next thing they were in his limo being whisked to One Oak. Once there they sat quietly sipping their drinks at the bar.

After what felt like an eternity Chuck finally broke the silence, "Blair I…"

She cut him off as she pressed a hand to his arm, "I don't want to talk about it."

He was about to protest when they were interrupted, "Blair Waldorf?"

It was Mr. Steinberg, an associate of her stepfather Cyrus'. After exchanging introductions and niceties he insisted they join him in the Red Room where his son, Jacob, was celebrating his bar mitzvah. That was how she had ended up being hoisted into the air on a chair as the "Hora" played.

Fear set in again but this time it was the good kind. Frightened she might fall as her head swam with the effects of the champagne. All of a sudden Chuck clasped her hand across the heads of the men beneath them and the fear was gone, replaced by pure and utter joy.

The song ended and they were put safely back down on the ground. They said their thank you and Chuck pressed ten one hundred dollar bills into Jacob's hand with congratulations. Next thing they were in a darkened hallway and she decided that she didn't want to think anymore. Not about the past or the future. She didn't care about hotels, swarmy uncles, Brooklyn wannabes or shattered panes of glass. And she definitely didn't care about princes or fairytales. All that mattered, as she pulled on Chuck's sleeve stopping him, was this moment. He looked at her questioningly as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Next thing she was aware of was his mouth on hers and the faint taste of champagne on his tongue. She felt him hesitate for a split second and then he was hers.

She stayed in the hall as he rushed to the front desk to check into the penthouse suite. It was only ten minutes but it felt like forever. When he took her hand and led her to the private elevator he asked her, "Are you sure?"

And just like that she was a sixteen year old girl on the eve of her seventeenth birthday again. She answered him with a kiss that continued for the twenty floor ride up in the elevator. They only parted briefly so Chuck could open the door.

Their first round of love making was rushed and messy. But the second was slow and sensual. He really was the best lover she'd ever known. Even though her experience was limited she knew without a doubt no man would ever come close to fulfilling her the way he did. She felt completely sated as she laid her head on his chest and he played with her hair. She brought her hand up to rest on his stomach and saw the glint of the yellow diamond on her finger. She sighed knowing she was going to have to face reality sooner rather than later.

His hand came up and he touched the stone, "You deserve your fairytale, Blair. You deserve to be truly happy." He kissed the top of her head. "I want you to be happy."

She nodded understanding completely what he was saying. Raising herself up she kissed him gently on the lips, "I'm always going to care about you Chuck and no matter what there will always be a little piece of my heart that belongs to you."

He gave her a sad smile, "And my heart, all of it, is yours."

She sighed sadly in return and kissed him one last time. Sitting upright she wrapped the sheet around her and got up gathering her dress and underclothes that had been scattered around the huge bedroom in their rush to undress. He watched her silently, his eyes never leaving her body. She felt self-conscious all of a sudden and felt a blush creep up her neck and face.

"I'm just going to freshen up a bit," she said.

He nodded, "Wipe away the evidence."

She turned and left him alone as she entered the bathroom. She swore she could literally feel her heart breaking.

An hour later and she was knocking on the door of Louis' suite. There was no turning back now. The decision had been made and she was moving forward without regret. The fear was strong. She took a deep breath as Louis opened the door and she knew instantly that she had made the right choice. She only felt a little guilty as she entered the room.

Louis looked so relieved to see her that she almost felt bad for what she was about to do. "Blair I'm so glad you've come."

She began to twist the ring around her finger nervously, "Louis I have to tell you something."

He put his hand on her waist, "I don't care where you've been or with whom. All that matters is you're here now with me."

She glanced down at the floor and then back up to meet his eyes. She did care about him but if she was being honest she didn't love him. Not the way she loved Chuck. She pulled the ring from her finger and pressed it into the palm of his hand, "I can't marry you."

He started to protest but she cut him off, "Please listen to me. I have to start being true to myself and if I'm being honest my heart has never been free. It's always belonged to Chuck. It's not fair to you or our families to continue this engagement."

"Blair, I think in time you could begin to love me as much as I love you." The desperation was clear as his eyes began to fill with tears.

She shook her head, "I have tried for the past three years to stop loving Chuck and through everything, good and bad, it's never changed. I love him in a way I have never loved anyone else. I'm sorry."

He knew he had lost and so without any more protest he let her go. As she rushed to the elevator and out to the car she felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off of her and she could really breathe at last.

She knew where to find him and as she pushed the door to the roof of his hotel open she saw him exactly where she expected to find him, leaning against the edge looking at the whole of the island of Manhattan. There was a decanter of scotch and a glass sitting on the ledge and right next to that was a very familiar brown box. He turned to see who dared to disturb his melancholy moment.

She could tell that he was completely confused at seeing her there. He was probably thinking she was a figment of his imagination and not really there at all. She crossed the distance between them holding up her now bare left hand.

"I told Louis that I couldn't marry him."

"Why would you do that? Why would you throw away the chance of having everything you ever wanted?" He swallowed a long drink of alcohol.

She stood in front of him taking the glass from his hand and setting it back down on the edge. "Everything I want is right here." She took a deep breath, "A not so wise woman once told me that 'We make our own fairytales' and as much as I hate to admit it, she was right."

She reached out gripping the lapel of his coat. The cashmere felt cool to her touch. "I love you Chuck and I want to make this work for real this time."

He pulled her to him and kissed her deeply. Then he kissed her neck and whispered in her ear, "I love you so much. I'm so sorry for everything."

She wrapped her arms around him, "I know you are and so am I. We've both hurt each other but that's done now." She pulled back and reached out picking up the box containing the Harry Winston engagement ring. She placed it in his hand, "Keep that safe and when the time is right I want you to put it on my finger."

He pushed the box deep into his pocket and wrapping his arms around her he pulled her up and spun her around once. She laughed as he placed her back onto her feet and kissed her again.

There was that prickle of fear again but this time it wasn't scary. It was fear of the future. A fear that also held excitement as to what was about to come next for them and she had never been happier.

_fin_


End file.
